A MORE PERSONAL TUMBLR.

Emily, Seventeen, England.

This is real, this is me.



y0urebeautiful:

i honestly just need someone to come into my life that really genuinely cares about me and wants to sit and have long conversations about things that actually matter and wants to go on adventures late at night and wants to be there for me at my lowest points and celebrate with me at my highest points and just be the rock that keeps me going when life gets rough 


-cigarettestainedlies:

bruises are lush~ am i hipster yet?

-cigarettestainedlies:

bruises are lush~ am i hipster yet?



got alot off my chest today. feels good.

got alot off my chest today. feels good.


Had my first experience of family therapy today. I think it went well! Was weird to have Mum and Dad in the same room as each other and actually spending time talking and agreeing on things, even if those ‘things’ were about me. I’ve moved back into my Mum’s now temporarily, apparently they were extremely close to setting me up in a Foster Home or “supported housing” but are now reconsidering if I get on alright being back here. I’m enjoying having my own room and my bed back again instead of the sofa at my Nan’s. Plus, college is shut because of the snow tomorrow which I would be super pleased about if I didn’t have a stack of work begging me to actually get started on tomorrow. (Especially that crucial 3 month late coursework essay of mine!)
Ouch.
But the point is that I’m happy at the moment and that’s got me feeling really great. Yay. Please excuse t’cheese there! :-)

Had my first experience of family therapy today. I think it went well! Was weird to have Mum and Dad in the same room as each other and actually spending time talking and agreeing on things, even if those ‘things’ were about me. I’ve moved back into my Mum’s now temporarily, apparently they were extremely close to setting me up in a Foster Home or “supported housing” but are now reconsidering if I get on alright being back here. I’m enjoying having my own room and my bed back again instead of the sofa at my Nan’s. Plus, college is shut because of the snow tomorrow which I would be super pleased about if I didn’t have a stack of work begging me to actually get started on tomorrow. (Especially that crucial 3 month late coursework essay of mine!)

Ouch.

But the point is that I’m happy at the moment and that’s got me feeling really great. Yay. Please excuse t’cheese there! :-)


So proud of myself today! Silly little things but I did some things I didn’t want to/was scared to do: I went into college without the work that was due 8 weeks ago, wearing my Beats which probably looked ridiculous; put my hand up and gave answers without having to get picked on by my teacher; went to the technology office to collect printer ink; walked into a room halfway through a lesson to print off 32 pages of photography work; edited photos of my own face whilst in a room with 30 other students all within eyeshot; had to walk past the biggest bully in my life which ended up with me having the biggest smile on my face after doing; strutted home to ‘Nobody’s Business’ like a diva.
Stupid little things, but I’m still really proud of myself. S’the little things ‘ey! :)

So proud of myself today! Silly little things but I did some things I didn’t want to/was scared to do: I went into college without the work that was due 8 weeks ago, wearing my Beats which probably looked ridiculous; put my hand up and gave answers without having to get picked on by my teacher; went to the technology office to collect printer ink; walked into a room halfway through a lesson to print off 32 pages of photography work; edited photos of my own face whilst in a room with 30 other students all within eyeshot; had to walk past the biggest bully in my life which ended up with me having the biggest smile on my face after doing; strutted home to ‘Nobody’s Business’ like a diva.

Stupid little things, but I’m still really proud of myself. S’the little things ‘ey! :)


My year of Gaga.

Although Lady Gaga didn’t release any new music in 2012, I had the most incredible year. After buying BTWB tickets early on in the year, a majority of 2012 was spent planning ways to try and get picked to go backstage and what to wear, not to mention all of my money this year went on prep for this one concert. Meeting the most amazing monsters whilst queuing for the Monster Pit, the atmosphere in the Pit when the Lady took to the stage, everything about the 8th September was incredible.

A month later, I met my idol. 2nd October 2012 marks the date of the London Harrods Fame Launch, after 28 hours of camping on the streets of London with some more incredible Monsters who each shared their intimate stories of meeting Gaga backstage, the time came where David Bowie’s ‘Fame’ blared from the speakers outside of Harrods and the brunette Gaga came strutting towards us. Holding my camera out ready, when her head turned toward me I shouted asking if we could take a picture, and she looked straight at me, nodded, and came right up beside me. I touched her shoulder briefly, and she turned to look at me after it had taken. All I remember after that moment was me shouting that I love her, her looking at me, and then collapsing into hysterics on the spot. Monsters surrounding me, including the bodyguard who had been chatting with us whilst we’d waited, came round to hug me and congratulate and console me. 

I’d pictured a moment with her so many times in my head, but nothing compares to the real life moment. I still don’t believe it happened, and it gives me hope that one day I will be able to thank her for her influence and impact on my life, and thank her for the two incredible experiences I’ve had with her.

Here’s to 2013 - the year of ARTPOP.


This Christmas was lovely. Christmas Day was spent with Mum, Step-Dad and my brother Guy, and we were all woken at 8:05am by an excited Guy. We went downstairs and unwrapped the presents Santa had left in our stockings and under the tree, with my main present being a new Nikon 3100.Since being a kid I’ve never been surprised by my ‘big present’ since I always manage to guess what it is or ask for something specifically or money, but this year I was completely surprised. I’d asked everyone for money for a new camera because I never thought I’d get one as a present, heck I didn’t even think I’d get enough money for one, so I almost cried with happiness on Christmas day and even gave my Step-Dad a thank-you kiss which is very rare haha! Guy got a Google Chromebook, his first laptop of some kind, and unsurprisingly spent the whole day glued to it.

We went and had Christmas Dinner at my Step-Dad’s Sister’s house which was lovely and festive, though we barely said a word we were all so hungry. Then spent the whole afternoon and evening opening more presents and watching festive tv junk (including the Queen’s speech for a first!).

Boxing Day is always my Christmas Day with my Dad, though the main focus this year was my baby cousin and uncle being reunited, therefore my new camera came very handy for the day. When my Dad went to pick my other brother’s up from the football match they were at, my Aunty decided to give me a ‘mini photoshoot’ because I’d made a bit of an effort, then decided to take a bunch of photos of my chest which made me super embarrassed infront of my Uncle and ended up hysterically laughing and cringing. Cue a bunch of family photos when everyone came back and then eating our weight in more Crimbo junk food.

My Dad had pre-warned me that my Christmas present was money, which started out as £100 but decreased to £60 after the petrol money he’d had to use to pick me up from London from Gaga-Harrods-Gate had been deducted. But he’d spotted some fake Dr Dre Beat over-the-head headphones which I’ve been practically drooling over for over a year at a reasonable price, so I also had some ‘Fakes by Dr Dre’ as I’m calling them, to open and use for most of the evening, blanking everyone out to be fair.

All-in-all, I had a lovelyyyyy Christmas and feel like an incredibly lucky and spoilt girl for a change! Nobody dared buy me anything Gaga-related after the past couple of months events, apart from my Step-Mum who bought me a bag with Gaga plastered over it, which is sure to get more than it’s fairshare of use!

Welcome to my person blog haha, this has been my first post and I hope you all had a brilliant Christmas too! :D